Jornaling

I want to journal a little bit about the Moore Tornado that happened this week.  I don't want to forget the multitude of emotions I have felt this past week.

Monday May 20th.  I had a long list of errands that I had to accomplish.  Alex had testing at the school and then a dr's appointment.  I had to go to the store and drop off dry cleaning, go to the post office, and the library.  I had an appointment for my hair to get done after his dr's appointment so I took Alex home, picked up a snack for myself and got my hair done.  Then I ran to the store's and was dropping off library books when I noticed we were starting to get hail.  I decided to skip the post office and was looking up the storm track on my phone as I was driving home and hoping I got home before the big hail hit the area. 

I got home, and turned on the tv to watch the weather.  We were on the north east end of the massive storm and the south end was down past the airport on the southwest side of Oklahoma City.  Within 10-15 minutes of turning it on, I knew our house and where we were wasn't in any immediate danger.  Suddenly they were showing the formation of a funnel and right as I was watching on tv a tornado formed.  I watched as it formed and grew in size and they showed from both storm chasers and from the news chopper the tornado as it slowly chewed it's way across the city of Moore.  I won't deny it, at first it was fascinating and I watched in Awe at the shape of the tornado.  Then I realized how big it had gotten, and how long it had been on the ground and the magnitude of what would be found after the winds died down- became much more real.  I spent much of the afternoon in shock- I couldn't get enough of the news- watching the tv stations, refreshing the websites, scanning through facebook and twitter...

We had planned on having a family walk that evening and it was a much needed break from the horrible destruction we had witnessed that day.  That night as I went to bed there were rumors that the death toll was up to 100... I didn't sleep very well- just tossed and turned and felt a surreal feeling that so much sorrow and destruction had happened.

The next morning we woke up and checked the news right away- the death toll had been inflated unintentionally- through bad communications and multiple fatalities reported multiple times through different channels.  Only 24.  Every single one of the 24 was grieved for and missed, but relief was felt that it was only 24.  Stories started emerging of the heroic acts of those that rushed in immediately following the storm.  Teachers that shielded children, bystanders that tore through rubble to rescue those that were trapped.

Tuesday was a day that I felt proud to call Oklahoma my home.  I can now call it home- I've lived in Oklahoma for more years than any other state in my life and definitely more years as an adult than anywhere else.  I am proud to be an Oklahoman.  My heart swells with love as I witness the donation centers popping up everywhere.  Shelves were emptied of water within hours of the storm where people bought water for the survivors and all the rescue workers.  Armies of volunteers were itching to be able to go in and work.  They did everything they could to line up supplies and donations so the instant they could go back in- they would be ready.  I would drive around doing errands with the AM radio stations on and listen to the stories from the storm and would tear up and have to change the channel because I was feeling so emotional listening to them.

We had a trip planned to leave this week.  While I had been looking forward to the trip, a part of my was sad that we would be gone for the cleanup efforts I knew were being organized.  It was hard to focus on all the end of the school year activities and taking care of getting ready for our trip, while the tragedy took up so much of my mind.  It was in my thoughts and prayers all day long.  We are on the trip now and I am happy to be on the trip, but part of my heart is back in Oklahoma.  I long to be there serving and helping the people there.  There will be many clean up efforts.  There will be many opportunities when I get back home to help and I will cheerfully participate in those. 

And by next year we will have a tornado shelter... because we are now oklahoman's and we don't plan to move anywhere else anytime soon.

Three weeks...

Three weeks of school left, and this momma is ready for summer!! I can always count on finding interesting pictures after the kids have played with my phone.

Conflicting Seasons

Spring? Winter? Spring? Winter? Happy, sad, happy...

The last week has shown gorgeous 80 degree weather, an ice storm, beautiful 70 degree weather, cold rain, warm rain, tornado warnings, hail storms, flooding, and back down to 40 degree weather today.

Along with the varied weather patterns we have had highs and lows emotionally in our lives this week. As I was returning home from some stake meetings Saturday I found out that a new family in our ward had just lost their dad (husband) in a tragic accident. The spiritual filling of my bucket that morning helped as I was blessed to serve the five kids and mom through the afternoon until family was able to arrive.

Ashley had her cotillion dance that night and had a fun time. Monday brought the sadness of the Boston marathon tragedy, Tuesday Alyssa was thrilled to be invited to a higher level gymnastics class, wed one of my closest friends had an emergency hysterectomy, i had some minor problems that sent me to a drs apt and i was able to spend a-while visiting with two wonderful friends and refill my emotional bucket. We had severe weather storms all evening which meant kids didn't go to bed until late.

Today I was happy to be needed by a friend and able to help out, and saddened by the news out of Texas of the fertilizer plant explosion.

Tomorrow is no school- it's "Oklahoma day" on the school calender- it's also the anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing. We will enjoy a day at home without a school schedule to relax and recharge. To remember those who are mourned, and those who are mourning.

The sadness makes us appreciate the happy times more. I'm just hoping next week bring more happiness and less sadness.

They say....

They say in Oklahoma if you don't like the weather, just wait till tomorrow...

Well I'm loving the weather today, but not what is forecasted for tomorrow!

Speed bumps, Detours, gratitude and happiness

Lately I feel that with every conversation I have with friends and family I hear of the speed bumps and detours and difficulties that have been going on in their lives. Some are just speed bumps. Little things that slow them down that they learn from and pretty quickly get right back up to speed and back to "normal". Others have detours- things that bring them to a stop, and cause them to have to really figure out what direction they are going to go in to get past their detour.

Through all these conversations I've felt immense gratitude at what speed bumps and detours our family has faced compared to some much more serious and dangerous things they are facing and the things we have learned from them.

What I've also observed is the happiness people display as they face these detours in their lives and overcome them. I know we will face many more of these speed bumps and detours. I hope I can remember the gratitude and happiness I've been observing from those around me as they are going through their hard times.